Drake is opening a new OVO store at Yorkdale mall this weekend. How is he spreading the news? With a bad and bougie music video, of course.

Equipped with red solo cups, a crew, and a Cadillac, Drake gets off the 401 at Yorkdale Road for an after hours party at the North Toronto mall. The whole thing is in slow motion, because…well, it’s Drake. Take a look, and try not to cringe.

Rapping in front of a Tiffany & Co. and Chanel is very on brand for OVO. But I hate to break it to you Drake, the whole thing isn’t exactly original — mall set music video’s aren’t October’s Very Own thing. For decades, top musicians have taken to shopping centres to share their music with the masses via relatable video. What better place to spread (or take down!) consumerist ideology than at the heart of it all, amiright? Besides, every teenager knows: food courts and escalators are the epitome of causing trouble and having a good time.

Here’s how Drake’s Yorkdale store teaser stacks up against the greatest mall music videos of all time. Spoiler alert: they’re all better than his.

“Complicated” by Avril Lavigne

“Hey, wanna crash the mall?!” Five seconds in and you already know this bitch is a badass. With her skinny tie and her skateboard, Avril Lavigne’s punk rock possy could easily take down Drake’s crew in a food court stand off. Did you see how she stole a fry from a security guard and then ran the wrong way up an escalator? Legendary.

“You Get What You Give” by New Radicals

Youth revolt! This teen-movie-esque music video shows a group of rebellious kids taking down the strait-laced adults. Drake’s Yorkdale video would have been substantially improved with the use of silly string and dog cages. And again, we see teenagers walking backwards up an escalator. Skipping out on that key mall party scene was a big miss on Drakes part.

“I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany

The OG star of singing in a mall. Tiffany’s entire career was built on the back of a shopping centre performance, thanks to her tour, “The Beautiful You: Celebrating The Good Life Shopping Mall Tour ’87.” Until Drake opts to do a concert from the Eaton Centre food court, we’re not even going to make this comparison. It just isn’t right.

“Free Fallin” by Tom Petty

The fade in transitions here are key. Are we in the mall chilling with Tom Petty on an escalator? Are we outside on a skateboard with our friends? The constantly changing scenes act as a visual metaphor: Tom Petty is stuck inside the mall looking out, and outside the mall the people are free. And they’re falling. (Or something like that.) Either way, IT. HAS. LAYERS. Does Drake’s video have narrative depth? No.

“Let’s Go To The Mall” by Robin Sparkles

Okay, so it’s not a ~*real*~ music video, (it’s a scene from How I Met Your Mother.) Still, it’s better than Drake’s.

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