A celebration of bare butts (and sideboob) at last night’s Met Gala

This year’s Met Gala theme was pretty straightforward: clothing optional. And while I’m lying to you (because the actual theme was China: Through the Looking Glass), several attendees still opted to forego traditional fabric and bask in the warm glow of cameras capturing their sheer and/or barely-there pieces.

And to that I say: congratulations. (Because if not now, when?) If stars like Beyonce, who slayed in a custom Givenchy Haute Couture dress which was 75% sheer and 25% gems, could feel herself on the red carpet so freely, then why can’t the rest of us? If Kim Kardashian, who showed off nearly as much as Bey in Peter Dundas for Roberto Cavalli could pose brazenly with barely-there-induced confidence, then why are we so bashful? And if Jennifer Lopez could hold hands with Donatella while wearing a super-revealing Versace gown (with exposed side panels), why are we so hung up on camouflaging ourselves?

Well, not all of us look the way they do. (Some of us haven’t been to a gym since 2002 and will not be righting that wrong anytime soon, let’s be serious.) But we can take a page from the book of “feeling oneself,” and acknowledge the badassery in taking risks in such an overt way. We can tip our hats to Bey, Kim, and even Kendall Jenner (girlfriend wore a nineties-esque Calvin Klein gown with lace-up sides) who sent a message I don’t think we can hear enough: wear what you want, and to hell with the rest.

Which, even if you’re of the “I’d still rather not be almost naked, thanks” school still applies. Attendees’ flair for exhibitionism last night wasn’t a question of granting permission for us to wear next-to-nothing if you look a certain way, it was a question of owning one’s body and sense of self in general. If wearing lace and beads makes you feel powerful, be the Beyonce you want to see in the world. If you’d rather walk into the sea than wear a dress with conventional sides, live your best J-Lo life. And don’t worry about your body type while you do it — comparison is the thief of joy.

Ultimately, the theme of 2015’s Met Gala should be rebranded as “You Do You, Girl” — especially since the above pieces represented that mantra much better than they did the official one. (I’m still not sure I actually understand the official one.) Alternately? “Butts,” since attendees were clearly as influenced by “Anaconda” as the rest of us have been. (Tomorrow I’ll write 5000 words on why Nicki Minaj wasn’t there and why we all suffered for it.) Somewhere, Tina Belcher was in heaven. Somewhere else, more teen girls watched and saw some of the most powerful women in pop culture flaunt their bodies, proudly in charge of them.

And sometime, we’re all going to sit down and give thanks to FKA Twigs’ Christopher Kane gown, which included a bright cartoon penis. Human anatomy, people. Get into it.

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