Happy Birthday, Justin Bieber! Relive His 24 Best, Worst and Weirdest Moments

1. His embracement of imperfection

Granted, we had no idea how far-reaching that imperfection would end up stretching, but at least he warned us. At his age, I’m fairly certain I’d stolen a shopping cart from a grocery store while drunk next to a Food Basics one night.

2. The Roast™

The fact that he didn’t weep onstage while Hannibal Buress straight up said “I don’t like you” is the reason I know he can survive life in the music industry.

3. His friendship with Jaden Smith

If you think we’ve forgotten about the circa-2011 splendour that was Jaden Smith collaborating with J-Biebs, you obviously haven’t seen Never Say Never as much as I have. Never forget Jaden’s rap verse, never forget me trying to memorize it.

4. His monkey

Admittedly, it’s not a best moment, but it’s a moment nonetheless: J-Biebs once had a pet monkey, and then in Germany, it got taken away.

5. The Deposition

In March 2014, Justin Bieber’s deposition video was released into the wild, offering a wide variety of expressions including indifference, annoyance, and “ugh, how did I get here?” Drink every time he says, “I don’t recall.”

6. Rhythmic demands

Back in November, Biebs did the Lord’s work: he asked his audience to please at least clap to the beat. And while his fans were less than amused, as a grown-ass woman who hates the actions of most people, I can say I appreciated this — as well as Justin’s inability to hide his disdain.

7. “Between Two Ferns”

Well whatever, I’m still calling them “Beaners.”

8. Justin for Calvin Klein

Or, the pop star equivalent of screaming, “I am an adult!” while we sit watching uncomfortably.

9. His on-air apology (to/with Ellen)

And it was exactly as painful as the above image demonstrates. But then after his segment, Baby Biebs took to Facebook and apologized for his apology — before apologizing for 2012-2014, inclusive. Making him the first 20-year-old to ever have to say he’s sorry for being a bratty teen.

10. His childhood drumming

But let’s remember something a little more upbeat. Remember when he was a musical prodigy? Look at him drum! Look!

11. Also, he played guitar on the steps of Stratford establishments

So think about this every time someone tries to tell you he isn’t talented.

12. Justin v. The Today Show

And Justin just wants everything to be perfect, okay? Which is why — I’ll argue — he had a temper tantrum at The Today Show this past November, complaining about the camera angles that failed to capture his dance moves. The boy just aims for perfection, you know? Which is why…

13. He threw up onstage (and then apologized)

And then kept performing. Last night I ate popcorn too fast and lay in bed reading sipping sparkling water until I fell asleep like a tiny infant. If I threw up anywhere, I can promise I’d make everyone around me take me to the ER.

14. His relationship with Selena Gomez

Speaking of throwing up, pour one out for the couple that made Taylor Swift publicly gag. We can’t help but wonder what T. Swift thinks about the Jelena reunion…

15. His VMAs comeback

But okay: put your cynicism on hold to remember when our beautiful, precious prodigal son returned to glory with his VMA performance that inspired tears not just in us (the real Beliebers) but in Justin himself. Bless.

16. Carpool karaoke

Another reason to raise our hands into alleluia Emoji formation to give thanks for Bieber? Carpool Karaoke, co-starring James Corden. This boy was born to roadtrip.

17. Angel wings

And okay I know we already cited the Comedy Central roast, but what I failed to mention was that Justin Bieber arrived in angel’s wings and proceeded to sing gospel, which some of us may have thought the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was supposed to be about. (Turns out it isn’t.)

18. Renting out the Staples Center

What’s the most romantic movie ever? Titanic, duh. What’s the least romantic venue? Probably a huge arena the size of the Staples Center. But that didn’t stop Justin from renting it out for Selena Gomez once upon a time. Because if you’re going to watch Titanic, you’re going to watch it in an enormous venue with an intimate feel.

19. His rainy AMAs performance

He sang and danced in the rain, and managed not to fall. Frankly, this entire list should’ve been dedicated to this moment. (As well as my questions on why he dressed like a kid waiting to be picked up from the mall.)

20. Justin Bieber v. Orlando Bloom

We’ll never know the truth behind this debacle, but during the peak of Justin’s act-out, he got into a fight with Orlando Bloom because neither knew how to articulate their thoughts and feelings about each other’s ex girlfriends. But specifically the 30-something-year-old man.

21. Inspiring the greatest tweet of all time

After commenting on Ariana Grande’s appearance on her Instagram photo (who does that?), Grande’s rumoured boyfriend stepped up to shut it down. To which Ariana responded with a public, perfect, wonderful tweet that I have since had tattooed on my back.

Not today, Satan. Not today.

22. Brotherly love

Justin Bieber brought his little brother to the 2016 Grammys and won us (me) over with his grand gesture after all panic attacks subsided (after I briefly thought the kid was his son).

23. His superstar song power

From DJ’s Khalid’s “The One” to Luis Fonsi’s “Despacito,” a JB feature on your track can secure its place at #1.

24. “Sorry”

Pro tip: if you write a catchy dance song to apologize to your ex, you’ll win her back.