How to spot a feminist: She looks just like you and me

May 3rd, 2015 brought us a real treat: a call from (American) conservative radio host Doc Thompson for listeners to list tips on #HowToSpotAFeminist.

Needless to say, he scored some real gems. Misogynists from across the globe responded with… well, you can probably imagine. (Spoiler alert: nobody here’s going to link to their garbage.) But then things took a turn: feminists/thinking people reclaimed said hashtag and unleashed a barrage of tweets that made us feel exactly how Peggy looked while walking into McCann-Erickson this week.

Which was great. Especially since spotting a feminist is relatively easy: provided nobody reading this is a ghost or The Hulk while in monster form, feminists look like everyone and anyone. Because they should be everyone (and anyone). There’s actually only a single trick to spotting a feminist, and it’s spotting someone who believes that women are equal to men.

Frankly, Thompson and his supporters are the victims of the very system they’re so adamant on upholding. To villainize feminists (a.k.a. people who fight for equality) and to subscribe to the idea that men and women have to look a certain way hurts them as much as it hurts us. Especially because it forces men to follow rules that have proven to be hurtful and damaging. (See: the myth of male masculinity, as well as the outdated notion that men don’t cry or show vulnerability.) So what Thompson is suggesting is that men must also look a certain way. And that if a man doesn’t, something’s wrong with him too.

Which is—as we all know—why feminism is so important. By celebrating and supporting and living it, all people are freed from restrictive gender norms and emotional stagnation. I bet Thompson would feel surprisingly liberated if, instead of standing firmly on the wrong side of history, he began seeing men and women as people, and not just as tropes. (Because he’s a person too.)

So what does a feminist look like? You, I hope. And me. And anybody else, regardless of gender, physical traits, choice of outfit, favourite band, favourite TV show, and/or stance on Titanic. (Although if you don’t love Titanic, you’re a monster and how dare you.) And here’s how to spot us: living our lives, being awesome. Certainly not lecturing other women on how to live their own feminism, and hopefully not shaming anyone for choosing to live differently.

Personally, I’m reading through several Mad Men theories while drinking an iced coffee and waiting for my nail polish to dry. So congratulations, Thompson! You’ve spotted me.

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