My most ridiculous shopping text messages, revealed
If my iCloud account were hacked, you wouldn’t find any nudes. Instead, you’d find a series of pithy, self-absorbed text messages about my shopping habits, my appearance and my love life—egged on by my nearest and dearest pals, of course. My recent search for the perfect dress to wear to a friend’s wedding took ego inflation (and lols) to the next level, with my BFF having to deal with three days of “what about this, tho?” before I finally settled on the right look.
I may dole out style advice on a daily basis, but a quick glance at the below would show that I’m pretty needy in the department myself. Behold: my most ridiculous shopping text messages, revealed for your pleasure.
MessagesBlaireDetails
Mornin!
Hii 🌞
Dying over Cary’s snaps
You?
Just woke up. Bath… face mask… hair mask 💅 💆
Kyute
I got him to send me all the originals
I can’t
Ain’t no mountain high… hahahahah 💃
K, emergency
Need help with a dress for Paige’s wedding
What are your options
I have the paisley one I wore to the AGO
No, you’ve worn (and I’ve worn) too many times
Lol
Okay, this?
Actually, kinda want to return it though
Eh, doesn’t look like you… return
K I have more
Where did you end up last night?
Ya send others and I’ll see what I have when out of the bath
K gracias
Haha omg
Sucha monsters
Typical Freddie
“Such a monsters”
Hahahah
Should I post on IG?
“DOGS FOR SALE NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGE”
Approx 120 likes
My estimate
K, back to me
Always 😒
What about this:
Ignore wet hair and crap on the ground
#Cleanliness
Is that even how you spell cleanliness?
Wait is this wedding inside or out and what’s the dress code
That dress is a bit drab
Haha thanks
You look like someone’s cousin
I look like the 3rd dress in Mrs Doubfire
“I wore that to my aunt’s funeral in 1976”
Anything else?
How about this of mine from Power Ball?
Too warm
It’s supposed to be outside but may rain… More like garden party style
Floral dresses, stuff like that
Like this is basically the mood board
A talking flower: My MO
Got it. Psycho pansy
I have to run into the office for a bit now anyways so I’ll see what’s on Bloor
Cute?
Nah
K going vintage
OoooOOOooo look at this!
Yellow suede 💫👌
VSP
Oh la la
What does it look like on
Gimme a sec
Lollll doesn’t fit over my head literally just got stuck in it ️
Hahahah
I wish my luggage was back from Italy this dress would be perfect!! 😭😭😭
It’s been 2 weeks? You’re not getting that back.
Remember the show without a trace? If not back within 48 hours…
Ugh
K but also I should tbt that shot, right?
Save in the cannon for 6 months
Too many Italy 📷
Don’t be jealous
lol ok
What about that marni dress you have of mine? Too momsy?
Yeah I feel preggo
But it’s so perf with the Marni bag I just got 💁
Maybe you can wear off the shoulder
I tried, it basically just falls off
Not that kind of wedding hahaha
Let’s see
I like it but ya a bit shapeless
Side note do you like this for IG?
From the shoot on Tuesday
👌💕👌💕
100 likey
K yay
I’m already thinking about dinner
Pho?
Tacos?
I’m starving
It’s 4pm
I dun care
Let’s show up at Grand Electric like now… Pre-wait for 2 hours
At least we’ll get a table but we’ll still have to text because music so loud
Totally, but I want my own ceviche
Good bc me too k getting on bike in 10
Kk
OMG YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE
?????
LUGGAGE
IS
FOUND
How is that even possible
Mercury retrograde overrrrrrr!
No idea, I called them expecting to completely sass them and cry on the phone, and she said it was coming today!!!!
OMG I am so namaste right now
Bless the world
Imagine it was me pretending to be luggage contact and it’s not actually coming
Hahaha I would make you buy me everything new
Wouldn’t matter in over draft anyway
💸💸💸
I need a fireworks emoji
💥💥💥
Like that but in the sky and with happy tears and angels
And with Katy Perry in the background
☁️⛅️💥👼💦💥☁️
️
Okay so I’m going to wear the white and green dress then, yeah?
With these shoes
💯💯💯💯
Remember when u were going to wear this
Hahahah
It’s cool from the back 😏
She’s here!!!!!!!!!!
My trendy ombré luggage is home
Wtf is this
Hahahahhahaha
It’s a rolled up sock
With sticky stuff on the bottom from Paige’s trampoline bday party
Unclear about the black one though
K gotta get ready 😘
Kk send picy
Voila!
With Natalie
😍😍😍😍😍😍
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