SNP’s word of the day: Uniqlones

Word: Uniqlones

Meaning: People who dress head-to-toe in the plain, quality, identikit clothes of Japanese mega-chain Uniqlo. I thought I’d invented this neologism and remembered it again while reading a piece on the company in one of London’s weekend style mags (I was lagged and forget which one it was). But, no, it was also the title of a New York Magazine feature last year. Eff you, New York!

Usage: “That ad agency party was a total attack of the Uniqlones.”

You should know it because: If Uniqlo comes to Canada as we all wish, if only so that no one ever has to shop at American Apparel ever again, there will be an invasion of Uniqlones faster than you can say “v-neck.” It’s all too easy. Uniqlo’s colours and cuts are almost universally flattering, while the materials are soft, good quality, and often layerable. There are no logos or distracting details; the clothes are almost socialist in their simplicity. They’re also affordable. I know guys who wear it head to toe, Monday to Friday, and hardly anyone would notice, which I guess is the point. Still, don’t you ever wonder if Uniqlo is masterminding some grand insidious plan to make all urbanites look the same so that alien invaders can more easily pass for one of us and destroy our society from within? No? Okay, carry on.

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