FASHION Magazine

Karl Lagerfeld, king of taste-making (or just sharing his unwarranted opinions), has decried “pedestrian-chic” as the new cool in an upcoming shoot for French Elle.

The eight-page spread features the Kaiser tête-à-tête with his model crushes of the moment Saskia de Brauw and Caroline Brasch Neilsen (both clad in the designer’s new, more affordable line, KARL). The fashionable threesome are photographed doing all kinds of normal things: reading a sports paper, driving in traffic, shopping in the supermarket. Of course one can’t expect to push the Kaiser’s cart unless you’re runway gold.

And because he just can’t resist providing a ridiculous sound bite, Lagerfeld took to the accompanying interview to dish on his normal life (or total lack thereof):

On driving: “I haven’t driven since I was 18, and that’s a benefit to society because I ended up in a ditch, without knowing why!” Oh Uncle Karl, one would think your giant collars might prevent you from checking your blind spot!

On le supermarché: “It’s the first time I’ve stepped into a supermarket. It’s crazy—fascinating what one can buy. There’s enough here to easily gain 20 kilos.”

Frankly, we’re not too surprised given Karl’s feelings on food: it’s not allowed! This is the man who will only eat Nobu whilst in New York, who lost 60 pounds just to fit into super-skinny Slimane’s, and who famous declared that food was like plastic to him.

But, we have to ask—what’s next? Karl tying his shoes? Using the ATM? Taking the *gasps* subway? We can hardly wait!